Tea and Reality

Right now the story goes "busy busy busy". In this mindset of "busy busy busy" the best/ worst thing is that the mind is always thinking "more more more". What else can I get done today? What else should I be doing? How many things can I cross off as done? Yes, last year I started this little bloggy as a record of what it's like to open an Etsy shop- now I'm recording what that's like with twin (need I say "teething" one more time?) babies in the house.

There is definitely an ebb and flow of energies. There are days that are so intense and up-close that, at their end, it is hard to recollect what happened just the day before. We just had three of those. When the boys are exhausted and frustrated, no matter what state we are in we feel anxious and urgent on their behalf. This empathy is something I never really thought of about being around children so much. And, although it is a wonderfully rich experience that colors our days as unimaginatively different than before, at countless times throughout the day you have to center yourself. Last time we saw a week like this it was followed by two beautiful pearly white teeth we are still peeking at every chance we can get... but friends, that was just last week.

And so it is that when my brain has a couple days in "busy" mode, there is such an incredibly fine line between that and "scattered". I find that if I do not finish things within 2 days of establishing that something must get done, it could very well get lost in the fog. Days are often broken down into 10 minute increments, a constantly rotating kaleidoscope of priorities and effort. I feel as though I've almost figured out the magic formula to make all of this work (she says, plates spinning)... almost.

No wonder the latest art is broken down into the simplest elements. Working on these tiny canvases seems almost essential to my nightly routines now; the house quiets down, I've cleaned my room and my Etsy work space, with the smallest pen I've got I sit and put myself into this tiny world. (And in it there is tea.)

This series has quickly turned out to be more detailed than the hand-drawn Valentines I posted last month. More little flourishes, more nooks of watercolor. I have an assortment of projects going on at night after the house is asleep, about 1/2 is for Etsy, but these little spots are a very particular practice. It is as though as the day melts away, the stresses and moodiness and trillionth plan hatched and misplaced all curl up for the night, drawing can happen joyfully in these small 2.5X3.5 borders. That joy reflects every single miraculous smile, giggle, twinkle and moment of relief that came and went through the day, I'm happy to say my mind goes to those things and not the To Do list. So, normally I would write a post like this and remind myself that I need some time for quiet, reflective, mindful practice. But maybe this is just enough time, a fitting practice for now, one *less* thing to write on a To Do list and just something to let happen as it does.

...