Saturday, March 21, 2009

where I am

This time last year we were gearing up toward our road trip and the move out to Portland from the east coast. I remember I had just finished The Eater's Manifesto and was so encouraged and inspired about my own evolving sense of nutrition. Having a new found feeling of wellness within myself was an incredible gift. With spring abounding through suburban Pennsylvania (a feast for the senses, gorgeous PA in the spring months!) I was spending a lot of time outside, but also using those exciting energies to delve into the first year of having an Etsy shop.

The most obvious space between this time and that is C was pregnant at the time. Unbelievable looking back to the time before either one of us met these baby boys who have entered our lives and changed everything. A year later, the move complete, it is time again for C and I to map out our hopes and dreams for the upcoming year. I find myself so often amazed by (at least) my own journey in the last year, and (more so) the incredible luck of being welcomed in to be a part of my sister's family as it finds its footing, that I can get swept away in looking back. Now is the time to set sights on the next year of horizons.

The next most clear circumstance that has changed this past year is the economy, and believe me- I've listened to enough NPR since losing my job to not want to repeat what everybody else is editorializing about that. But it *is* happening, so let me be frank: there is an aspect of struggle between myself and my Etsy shop this year that I would like to believe was not around last year. I have not really talked much about this because, honestly, my sales slowed to a painful crawl last year too. Hmmm. I'm doing my best to keep my chin up, but without profits to invest in making new items, I have become discouraged.

All of these things lead me to what I want to talk about in this post- my blog itself. I am living in this city of remarkable arts, artists, community, and (yes!) incredible food. I was able to pick up and GO right at the perfect moment when my sister needed, well, some sisterhood (we both did) and we hatched this plan to end up here. These boys, these remarkable little people, are the sparkle to every single day since their arrival and (I say this with a patient smile) a reality check at the same time. Wow, this work is unlike anything I've been through before; some things I want to gush and pour all over these cyber-pages, some things just so close and so heartfelt that I respectfully defer to my sister to speak about the journey.

I'm having to re-prioritize and re-organize all the aspects of my life, and I'm just not happy anymore with the typical Etsy blog for my own uses. For my own part, I'm thirsting for blogs about fellow artists/ craftists on the road of parenting (or, in my case more like guardianship) and the realities of creativity vs. childcare.

I would love for everyone to think this is some sort of blissful unfurling of instinct and inspiration and you know? sometimes it is, and those times truly are remarkable. But I guess I'm just more keen on the non-fiction renditions these days, the grit and the sweat behind it. If the twin books we are reading have strategies for just getting to the point when you can do the laundry- I think the world could use a little more writing about keeping the creativity going through the baby juggle. I'm giving myself permission to start to investigate all of these subjects as process- things like keeping the shop open through my own quest for full time emplyment *while at the same time* trying to get my art career off the ground, things like getting the work done with two infants in the house, and yes- the art process itself.

So, in conclusion, I hope this will encourage me to blog more often, to find some interesting subjects to review, and get my readers engaged a little more too! I could give you status updates about my economic tensions- but who will really find that exciting news? Or I could just post when I finish drawings... but let's face it, thats why I stopped posting! Here I think a more straighforward approach is warrented, and a record of this very sweet but also challenging chapter of my life without a doubt will bring my spirits up to the level they need to be in order to get the work done.

Thank you for coming along for the ride.

3 comments:

mamazen said...

It's so amazing to be along for the ride! I love watching you shift and change and grow... and the evolution of your art and work. I can envision the possibilities and it makes me giddy with excitement!

All you need is a good nights sleep. :D
It was so very lovely to see you today! we must have more family dinners (or brunches).

kelly said...

enjoying the ride too & so grateful c, m & s have you! makes me cry to see you so happily a part of it all.

Karen said...

Things are always going to naturally shift, change, move and grow -- no matter how it evolves, I'm along for the ride :)

 
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